


Happy to Be Alive

by heytheremisterblue



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, can you tell i enjoy writing sleepy ship scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 11:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18916264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heytheremisterblue/pseuds/heytheremisterblue
Summary: Just him, on a lumpy, dirty old queen mattress, and the love of his life sleeping next to him in the dead quiet.





	Happy to Be Alive

Barney strained to remember the last time he felt happy to be alive. He could remember plenty of close brushes with death after which he was _grateful_ to be alive, certainly, and many more when he instead felt like the sensation of existing was too much to bear. There were a lot of times he could’ve thrown in the towel. But by god, he was so glad he didn’t, because boy was he _happy_ to be alive tonight. 

Tonight was nothing special, which meant, to him, that it was all kinds of special. Nothing to kill, nothing to run from. No hiding or dodging or shooting. No beating quotas. Just him, on a lumpy, dirty old queen mattress, and the love of his life sleeping next to him in the dead quiet. He couldn’t possibly help himself and lifted a hand to caress that soft auburn hair. The gravity of how terribly he’d missed it made him ache from the inside out, those endless years with him in the back of his head, the rare open-mouth smiles that warmed an entire room, the way he pushed up his heavy-framed glasses with his knuckle, how soft and gentle and slightly chilled his hands always felt on Barney’s hot skin. Those years nearly killed him. 

But he was so happy to be alive. Which was why, a good forty minutes after his partner had fallen asleep, he was still wide awake. 

Against all better judgement, his impulsive heart told him to wake him up. “Gordon.” No response. Christ, he always was a heavy sleeper. _“Gordon.”_

“Hmm, what…?” The man patted on the patchwork sheets for his partner, who quickly took his hand in his own. 

“You know I love you, right?”

“Mhmm,” the sleepy physicist hummed, eyes still closed. “You’ve said it about ten thousand times since the train station.”

“Yeah, I know. Just… double-checking.”

Gordon gave his hand a gentle squeeze and squinted his eyes open. “Don’t worry,” he mused with a grin, “I love you, too. That’s not going to change.”

A smile of his own stretched his lips mostly because of his partner’s kind words, but also due to the knowledge that, even with merely a foot of distance between them, he absolutely couldn’t see a thing without his coke-bottle glasses rested where they should be. But he could fix that. It only took a quick arm around Gordon’s shoulders to pull him into his chest before they were close enough for him to see plenty of Barney, and he showed no signs of protest. He only nestled in where he’d been guided, wrapped his own arm around the other, and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. 

“I like the stubble, by the way. Handsome.”

Barney’s heart soared in a way he never thought it could again after all the things he’d seen and done. His closed-lipped smile parted from the force of a laugh, and he craned his neck downward to kiss his love on the head. Years, decades of wondering, waiting, abandoning hope, growing older and more tired with every passing hour, gave way in this moment. He was happy to be alive, and had his only love to share that life with.


End file.
